Kwentos

Looking Back at 2006

     Every year I believe it is necessary to reflect on events gone by and remember to give thanks for all that has made life so special.  So here are my top 10 for 2006 and the thanks to go with it...

1.  In February I went on my first cruise and it was the best trip of my life so far.  The abundance of quality food was glorious for me.  The best being the quality pizza at all times of the day that came in especially handy after a night of dancing and the opportunity to experiment with sorbets at no added cost so I could learn to eat dessert.  Of course there was so much more to the trip than simply food, there were various wonderful destinations to explore and great dancing.  Sundance Saloon made this an official trip and had several nights of dancing.  As a manager of the organization, this gave me the opportunity to wear my "host" hat and be more social than I am normally able.  I met many great people and got to share my love of dance with them.  I even got to sing an original duet with my friend Peter W. at the talent show.  It was the most fun I have ever had and in such a wonderful setting.  I remember admiring the view with David R. one afternoon, it was breath-taking.

2.  I made many friends along the way that helped me grow and experience new things.  At the start of the year, I had met a guy named Alex who got me excited about trying things I never thought I would.  It was a really a necessary first step for me and it was nice to be stimulated in that way. I also met a guy named Trevor who encouraged me to step outside my comfort zone and socialize with new people.  We were at his house one night when I got reacquainted with a former friend of mine (Tom B.) and enjoyed myself immensely.  Having a great time with people is always a blessing, but when they all tell you that they would like to see more of you after that it makes it even more special.

3.  I had the opportunity to participate in a staged reading of a play in progress written by and about George Birimisa, the first openly gay playwright to be awarded a Rockerfeller Foundation Grant.  It was an honor to play George himself in what was the biggest and most powerful role I have ever played.  The experience was an intense emotional rollercoaster as I lived through his life with him and pushed the boundaries of what I believed I was capable of.  Sharing the stage with Trauma Flinstone and Michael Soldier was so exhilarating and intimidating!  Also, my co-worker Elaine Walenta joined the cast and was brilliant!  The show was such a joy and wonderful opportunity.  I wish I could have shared it with more of my friends!

4.  My mother came to visit in July to see her mother and brother.  I had not seen in a decade, which is not something I am proud of but it is what it is.  It was just terrific to spend time with her again.  She has made me everything that I am and I know that is a lot to be thankful for.  The highlight of our time together was when we were walking home and she mentioned that she was thinking of getting a tattoo.  I think she expected to surprise me (which she did), but I was already scheduled for a tattoo myself and so the surprise was on her.  The key thing here is that she was just as excited about it as I was, and how many people can say that about their moms!  A couple of years ago, she housed my partner Ben during his travels around North America without having met him previously and made him feel like family, and that is an unbelievable accomplishment.  I love her so much and I am so proud to call her mom!

5.  July was a time for rebirth for me.  Therapy was going slow, but there were other people in my life that were triggering things in my brain to help along with the healing.  Ralph Thomas, bless you for asking me the right questions at the right times and teaching me to slow down.  Your affinity for the enneagram also opened me up to a world of ideas that have aided me and many of my friends when we needed.  Thomas Groden, thank you for letting me see the world through your eyes.  Your eyes are more open than any I have known.  The two of you together had inadvertently given me back a lot of the strength that I have lost in recent times.  Getting my tattoo was the final step in my rebirth.  Though the physical agony may have been a part of the experience, it was the ability to celebrate my identity through art that makes it most powerful.  I often forget it is there on my back and I don't even remember the last time I saw it, but strangely enough it still gives me strength and pride.

6.  So maybe timing is everything, who knows, but July ended with the greatest thing that could ever happen... I met Scott Cox.  It all started innocently enough as I saw he had checked out my Friendster account and we had a lot in common.  Mostly I needed more theater buddies to push me to put myself out there, but who knew this guy would end up stealing my heart.  He is a true gentleman with a great spirit for life.  I have so much to learn from him and so much to share that it makes every day so exciting.  Many of you have met him and know exactly how lucky I am.  If you have not met him yet, you will.  The first few weeks of getting to know him were so much fun, but the highlight of the year would have to be my birthday.  He took me to a lovely restaurant for lunch where he officially "asked me out".  I was speechless.  It was wonderful.

7.  I love teaching clogging.  I love learning new steps and putting it together in a fun dance to share with others.  Another great day of the year was when I went to meet with Janice Hanzel to go over the stuff I was developing for our Monday night classes.  She is actually the original artistic director of the Barbary Coast Cloggers and has done a lot to keep me on track as the executive director and an instructor.  It was a fun day with great food and conversation, but also the support she has given me has inspired me to continue moving forward.

The teaching highlight of the year was the opportunity to teach at the Tommyknocker Jamboree in October.  The dance I taught was "Black Horse and a Cherry Tree" but I also had a chance to do a quick teach of "Buttons" and demonstrate "Pon de Replay", all of which were very well received.  After my class, Dan Goldes approached me to tell me how much he enjoyed it and checked in about other stuff.  It was as if we were the best of friends again and nothing could have made me happier.  I have many people who have really supported my teaching in this last year and continuously inspired me through their kindness and commitment.  It makes me feel so wonderful to see Brian W. and Steve B. doing "Pon de Replay" out of class and my youngest student, Cheyenne, got me to choreograph “Appalachian Joy” which became the first clogging routine of mine to be publicly performed.

At the Tommyknocker event, I got a strong sense of the importance of the clogging community and I was so proud to be a part of it.  There have been so many wonderful people I have met at these events, but none have done more for me than Hal and Barbara Sowers.  They have supported me from the moment I first met them at the March Madness clogging event in Danville two years ago, often times checking up on me to make sure I am doing ok or when I will be teaching at other venues.  I had such a wonderful and powerful conversation with Hal after teaching at the convention.  Their support of me has made me feel like family more than anything else and it is definitely very special to me.

8.  Our show for the Richmond-Ermet AIDS Foundation became quite the unexpected highlight.  Due to our hectic schedule, I had been discouraged to follow through with this, but I went ahead any way and still managed to get 8 guys to perform.  We were to do two numbers at the start of the show and then the show ends with Nancy Sinatra and the rest of us dressed in Santa suits.  I had a couple of reservations going in, but the big one was that a Los Angeles choreographer was being brought in who had no clogging background.  So I prepared my own choreography and asked to meet with her an hour before rehearsals to go over the material.  She came with Broadway choreography and I showed her what I had prepared.  She had no problem collaborating with me at all, no egos, so we went with my step work which she staged.  It was not after it was all done that I realized that this was the first time that the cloggers had officially performed my choreography.  Another thing we did not realize was that the audience was not going to recognize us in the Santa suits!  We started dancing half way through the song and the crowd went wild in a way we had not experienced before.  Afterwards, all the guys were absolutely beaming from the experience and so grateful that they went for it despite the Santa suits, the performance was called historical by a prominent guest, and 7 of the 8 dancers had our significant others in the audience to share the experience.  It was beyond incredible!

9. The 25th Anniversary celebration of the Barbary Coast Cloggers is a big deal.  In my first full year as the Executive Director of the group, I could not let this event pass without making a big deal of it.  Our creative committee had thrown out some ideas, but I wasn't sure if anything was being followed through.  Then the Napa Valley Opera House expressed interest in a two-hour show that we did not have so I pitched them a show where we showcase the diversity of clogging in the first act with many brilliant guest performers (who did this for us at no cost) and then a bluegrass second act with the Barbary Coast Cloggers and the Stairwell Sisters.  The show was a success and the whole day went brilliantly.  I have two special choreographers to thank for the inspiration: Holly Whipple of Prestige and denise Everett of Cowtown whose brilliant performances inspired me to pull the community together.

It has been the busiest year of the group and as much as I avoided taking credit for all these events that have fallen into my lap, I am finally realizing that it has been my follow through that made it all come to be.  I could not have made this season happen without the guys, but the true spirit of it all is Matt Ellinger- whose commitment has kept this group together and continuing to perform with the kind of energy that keeps our audiences coming back for more.

10.  The Christmas holidays helped remind me as well that I am also very blessed to have such good people in my family.  I got to see my father a couple of times this year, who continues to support me in his way. He had met Scott during an earlier visit and accepted him in the family from day one as they began plotting against me to live healthier.  He gave Scott a very powerful and meaningful hug and acknowledge that my healthier and happier appearance are all due to him.  I have my sister and her two phenomenally cool, talented, smart, and sassy daughters for keeping me connected to family.  I had some big surprises for Scott this Christmas, but so did the rest of my family who all bought him wonderful presents.  He got me a cell phone (there, the cat is out of the bag) which is as much a gift to everyone as it is to me.  The love of family is something many take for granted, but it isn't usually expected by those of us who are gay.  My family continues to love me and those I bring into the family unconditionally and that means the world to me.

     Yes, I am very lucky.  Not only for these wonderful experiences, but to have crossed the paths of all these people who made it possible.  Thanks everyone for 2006 and let's make the next year an even better one!

These Boots

     Who knew that one of the few blogs I would ever right about would center on Nancy Sinatra.  Sooner or later I will have to admit to the fact that I am gayer than I give myself credit for.

     This all begins over a month ago when I get a call requesting the Barbary Coast Cloggers to perform These Boots Are Made For Walking with Nancy Sinatra.  It sounded like a great opportunity, but we have been having a very tight season and I was not sure I would have enough buy in from the guys to make it happen.  Fortunately, we had enough.  My main concern was that they were bringing an outside choreographer with no clogging experience.  This made me apprehensive because it ignores the artistic integrity of the company if our art is not honored.  So my bottom line was that I have time with the choreographer to collaborate on what is right for the group.  They agreed, but I felt humored at best.  So to play it safe, I prepared an entire dance to be used in our Monday night classes.  This provided me with a vocabulary of steps that fit with the song, ready to be pulled out when necessary.

     Our one rehearsal was to be the day before the show.  Our company has not learned an entire dance in such a last minute manner, however I had faith that they were capable of it.  When I arrived at the rehearsal, the choreographer (Lee Martino) from Los Angeles was nervous at my stern behavior.  I assured her that I was not in a bad mood, I just wanted to protect the integrity of the company.

     As it turns out, they wanted us to perform more of the dance than I was initially told and Lee Martino was a phenomenal human being to work with.  She had such a fantastic sense of humor and such a flexible professionalism.  She took my steps, I took her blocking, and we put it all together!

     The next hurdle were the steps themselves.  I realized that it was filled with steps that were unfamiliar to most of the group, but easy enough to learn.  With little struggle and complaint, they picked it up and we had a blast working together.  Lee loved it and called us fabulous.  Ramon (one of our dancers) mentioned it was in our contract.  What a wonderful quotable.

     The next day, we took it to Nancy Sinatra and made almost no changes at all.  She wanted to go out into the audience, so we cut out the steps during the entrance and we were done.  One of the volunteers loved our "schtick".  Cute.  Another great quotable, "Clogging- it's our schtick."

     The final obstacle was that we were asked to wear full Santa outfits minus the padding.  They were heavy outfits and certainly did not fit well.  The beards were a horror, but we went along grudgingly.  Fortunately, this allowed us to perform our own dances in the first act without Christmas-wear.  We were the second number in the first Act.  Our bit with Nancy ended the show right before everyone comes out to sing White Christmas.

     So we get to These Boots and we come in during the second chorus, just walking out in a line then throwing candy to the audience.  It never crossed our minds that the audience did not know who we were.  Then we walked back and started clogging.  The audience reaction was phenomenal.  They just weren't ready for 8 clogging Santas and it blew them away.  We were drawn into the audience more than we have ever been and felt so connected to something greater.  On top of that, we were dancing with an icon and held our own.  I was so proud of my guys for stepping out of their comfort zone, living up to our reputation of being wonderful to work with, and putting on a fantastic show.

     The feedback was beyond remarkable.  Donna Sachet, a San Francisco icon, called our performance "Historical!"  It could not get better than that, especially since we fully understood what she meant.  The guys were all aglow afterwards.  I don't think I have ever seen them prouder to be a clogger, and that says a lot after performing at Hardly Strictly Bluegrass this summer on the main stage right before Earl Scruggs.  Richard (another one of our dancers) even kissed me twice and I don't think he has ever done that once before.  I think what made the evening even better for all of us was that my partner Scott and 6 other Barbary Coast "wives" had comped seats and got to share in the experience.  They were so happy to be there with us.

     But it was not until today when Brian (another one of our dancers) made it clear to me that he was so proud of all that I have done to make this happen in the way that it did that I really understood the sentiments behind the kisses.  It was the same as what I saw in my Scott's eyes when we got home last night.  Pride.  When are we taught that it is not right to feel pride and to let our glory shine?  I don't know, but it was a great feeling and I want to let everyone know that this whole event allowed me to feel it.  So here it is to be shared with all of you because I don't want to forget it.

     Thanks to everyone who made it all possible.

Viagra Falls

Why this play was called Viagra Falls is a mystery to me, but it was certainly quite the experience.  I have managed to avoid playing major roles in my theatrical career so this is without a doubt the biggest role I have ever faced on so many levels.

The play is an autobiographical tale about George Birimisa, a New York playwright who has lived an incredible life.  The play starts off in his youth, back in the 30s.  Then his experiences in the military in the 40s.  His marriage.  Then finally the greatest love of his life.  We performed it yesterday and I am overwhelmed.  Nine of my friends showed up and many missed it simply because the title caused my e-mail announcement to be destroyed by spam killers.

I came to the show a couple of months ago, when my friend David talk me to meet George.  I don't consider myself an actor and have always preferred supporting roles, being part of the team.  David pushed me to read for the role of George, but I avoided it.  However, he left me alone with George for a few minutes and I fell for the trap.  George asked me to read a monologue about his wife's abortion.  I read it, it tore my heart out, and will continue to do so every time those words come out of my mouth.  He asked me to reconsider playing a supporting role.  He wanted me to play George, and it was a great honor to do so-- much greater than I was aware of at the time.

Elaine Walenta is the drama teacher at the school I work.  She agreed to jump into this project with me, playing my mother and later a friend of my boyfriend who propels my writing career.  What a fantastic performance!  Many of my friends singled out her letter writing monologue as one of their favorite moments in the show!  IT WAS SO FUN TO WORK WITH HER!!!  At the end of our first scene, we go from fighting about my abusive stepfather to her going into complete denial.  Her last night is a loving and exciting announcement about what she is about to cook for dinner, but it sent a shiver down my spine.  Brilliant!  At the end of the show, she was bouncing off the walls with enjoyment (along with her guest Andy and another co-worker of ours, Kenyatta).  None of us could even leave the venue, just clinging onto the high of the performance!  Kenyatta gave me the biggest hug after the performance that just filled my soul.  I miss doing theater, but honestly roles like this don't come by that often.  [There were two other teachers in the audience supporting us, George Irving and Casey Desai.  It truly made me happy to have the support of my co-workers, it made me appreciate that I truly do have friends at work.  It puts a big smile on my face.]

My childhood tales are filled with stories of sexual abuse.  Playing different ages and simulating some sexual material on stage certainly was a breach of my comfort zone.  When I got to the scene with the social worker that was going to send me away for being busted at a park in the middle of the night, my legs were shaking uncontrollably!  The whole time I was sitting there I was trying to figure out if I was acting or I was getting insanely nervous about being on stage.

Then there were the scenes from the military.  Monologues about being at war and scenes leading to my discharge for being a homosexual.

I finally met Trauma Flintstone.  I have seen the name all over the place, but wow!  This guy is phenomenal.  His energy is incredible, hysterical, and bring out the slightest nuances impeccably.  What an honor to share the stage with him and how intimidating!  He played my first relationship and later me and my boyfriend's pimp, Sally.  It killed me trying to stifle my laughter.  In our first scene with him as Sally, I am scrutinized as a potential gigolo.  I get left with him and at the very end of the scene, he gave this slightest inflection that let you know that he will be developing feelings for me later on.  I was blown away!  In our last scene together, I get all emotional while trying to convince him that my sadistic boyfriend really loves me.  He took my energy and redirected it to get huge laughs from the audience while maintaining the intense feelings that both of us were feeling in that moment.  My friends said, he was keeping an eye on me throughout the show.  I hope he has tips for me because I would love to be able to command a stage like he does!

The next relationship my character gets involved in is his attempt to become straight with his wife, Nancy (played by Kate White).  Some of my friends felt she gave one of the most compelling performances, in part Nancy is one of the easiest to understand and we have enough time with her to do so.  And it is a plus that she delivered a great reading.  It is in this scene where I end up having to do that abortion monologue that nobody is going to forget.  Unfortunately, I played it too low to the ground and the back rows could only hear me.  However, my co-workers were watching Elaine as I was doing the monologue and when she started crying they indirectly got a taste of what they were missing.  George's writing is the most emotionally intense and sincere writing I have ever seen!

Act 2.  I finally meet Mike, the man of my dreams.  It was a struggle to find an actor who had the courage to take on this role and two days before the show we find Michael Soldier.  Another brilliant actor.  Ack!  I have to share the stage with him and Trauma at one point and I felt like a minnow among sharks.  These guys were awesome.  I actually meet him at the end of Act 1 in a brilliant and subtle scene at a bar that (when analyzed) reveals some of our deepest motivations and fears.  Needless to say, we do not have the healthiest of relationships in the world.  In fact, it is quite horrible, but love was there in a twisted and veiled way. 

The first scene that my friends commented on was when he begs me never to leave him.  It ends with him grabbing my head and giving me the biggest kiss.  Many of my friends have never seen me in a passionate kiss before so it blew them away.  Honestly, I did not even see it coming and the thought of the kiss makes me blush.  My friends wanted to know how it felt and they asked me right in front of my guy.  Evan just looked at me and said, "Yeah.  Great kiss."  His expression was priceless.

My favorite scene with him is after we first break up and he gets out of jail.  He calls me in New York from California, asking us to move back in together.  Well he is pretty much telling me.  After everything we go through in the script, I hear that he still really loves me and cares about me.  I know it is a bad idea to get back into all that, but I just can't help it because he needs me.  And well, I need him too.  Ok, so here is where I confess.  I am a terrible actor.  I have no technique.  All I can do is be there and experience it.  So what I miss the most about doing this play (even just a day away) is being in love.  When the rehearsing began, I had a very hard time delivering any line that required me to be vulnerable and in love.  I did not want to allow myself to feel that again.  Well, I did it and now I am in love with Mike Sands and I miss him.  And he does not really exist.  George, if you are reading this, I do thank you for letting me into your soul.  It was quite the journey.  Ugh, in the emotional scene with Sally I mentioned earlier where I am trying to convince him that Mike and I are in love, I talk about being tied up and what it means to me.  And I understand it, deep down inside, I do.  And it is a beautiful feeling.  Scary.

Anyway, everyone's favorite scene is in the end.  Mike and I broke up again and he eventually tracks me down and comes to my apartment with a sword.  He is absolutely out of his mind, angry at my leaving him twice (in his mind) and my dumb ass denies it.  At least until he holds the sword to my neck.  Mike & I truly pulled off the scene brilliantly.  My co-workers were freaking out.  They were so sure he was going to kill me, even though they knew the real George was standing right before them and wrote the script.  They just knew it would end with my death.  Instead, I stare into his eyes, touch his face, tell him I love him, and give him one final kiss.  Then he leaves.  Overwhelming.

So many people could not believe that Michael and I only knew each other for two days.  It is so awesome to step off stage and have an audience convinced that you have a real relationship with your stage lover.  So that was my journey with this play.  I don't want it to be over.

Ship to Shore

     I left San Francisco on the morning on February 25th to arrive in Fort Lauderdale.  My trip started out with a blast from my past as a high school friend of mine picked me up from the airport, Kirsten Hines.  She came with her friend Anya from Australia and we took a drive around town to find a palce to eat.  We discovered a neat looking restaurant by sone body of water that may have been a river or something more.  The atmosphere was quite neat and it was very cool to have boats pulling up alongside our table to dine.  What a different lifestyle!  I also got to hear about all the cool conservation work she was doing, including the implanting of iguanas at Half Moon Cay (my next destination).

     On this day, I also got to meet up with my roommate to be, Daniel.  What a bundle of positive energy!  We met briefly in October, but did not really get a chance to get to know each other properly.  I have a feeling there is a lot I can learn from him given the time and the right venue, and I was certainly excited to take this trip with him.

     The four of us went to Manhattan South, the local country-western dance bar in the area and got to expose Kirsten and Anya to the event.  As soon as we walked in, they were just starting the Renegade so I quickly jumped in.  As always, the guys at the bar were incredibly accomodating welcomed them and took them around the dance floor.  This is what I love about the gay country scene, people are so welcoming!  It was also nice to be the outsider for once and still know a good portion of the crowd since the cruise we were about to go on was publicized through Sundance Saloon and a lot of us flew out a day early to play it safe.

     I got to dance with John Hoffman (for the second time ever), a friend and DJ at Sundance, and it was a blast!  The first time we had danced (months ago) we did not connect as well and I felt lost on the dance floor, but on this trip the two of us really had a fantastic time.  At one point during the week, he noted that we were good partners and that felt great to hear.  We mostly did two-steps, but on the cruise we got to really connect on the east coast swings!  Overall, we had a great night and the trip was just beginning.

     Getting on the ship itself was very exciting, the long line of men preparing for an adventure on the seas!  We ran into Ben & Peter right away and got our photo taken on our way on to the ship.  After dropping off my stuff into our room, we went up to the Lido Deck where there was a 25 hour buffet going on.  The food on the ship was fantastic and the pizza was absolutely incredible.  Almost every night I would go grab a pizza at 1:45am before heading down for bed!  It was also great to speak to the cooking staff which was almost entirely Filipino.  The room stewards and wait staff were mostly Indonesians.

     Cast off was also quite a moving experience, no pun intended.  We invited Ben & Peter to our balcony as soon as the ship began to move.  I was so excited that Ben decided to go on this trip and it was great to share that moment with him.  There were people in apartment buildings waving farewell to us.  It seemed rather strange, but it was amusing.  I can't even begin to describe the exhilaration of the leaving port and heading out into the vast unknown.  The four of us had our first dinner in the main dining room.  It was so awesome to have all the food paid for ahead of time.  I had appetizers, soups, salads, main courses, and desserts.  I am not a dessert person, but it was a great opportunity to explore the world of sorbets and get a feel for it.  I had mango, pineapple, and strawberry during the course of the trip, but the best sorbet I had was found off the ship...

     The first night was the rockiest.  I woke up at 3am to the ship swaying dramatically back and forth.  Having seen all three Poseidon Adventure films, I was nervous for a while.  Thankfully the meds they had at the front desk kept me from getting ill during the trip!

     Monday: The Bahamas.  I had plans to go kayaking out on the lagoon with my friend Ralph.  Unfortunately, the excursion was cancelled, so we spent the day out on the beach instead.  The day was gorgeous, the water was a clear sapphire blue, and the sands were like white powder.  It was great to just sit out on the beach and chat with the passers by.  Peter joined us for an outdoor barbecue which turned out to be a great change of pace.  It was a wonderfully relaxing day.

     I was very lucky to meet a guy named Gary since my friends had decided not to attend the Captain's reception and formal dinner.  Gary invited me to eat with his roomies Bill & Bill.  We were also joined by another Bill and his roomie, Dennis.  It was a great experience to get all dressed up.  I wanted to hire one of the Bills as my publicist, as he was so complimentary when he introduced me to people!  After dinner, I went to see Varla Jean Merman perform and she was a fantastic performer.  What I found even more extraordinary was that he was so incredibly different out of drag that there was no way of even recognizing him.  The costuming is what appeals to me the most about the art of drag.  I met a guy named Richard who transformed himself into an incredible Liza Minelli and another guy named Hong who dressed as Brittany Spears for the talent show at the end of the cruise.  Unrecognizable and brilliant!

     We also had three nights of country-western dancing from Monday thru Wednesday.  The last two nights were outdoors on the deck, and it was so much fun!  The greatest thing was meeting other country dancers from around the country.  I met Bob from Boston who I paired off with for many an east coast swing, Barry & Dan from Portland who were awesome guys that always put a smile on my face, there was Mike, Jeff, and Ross from Minneapolis, Gary from Vancouver, Jason from Chicago who turned out to be my dance partner for the talent show, and so many others.

     Troy Inman from Atlanta prepared a Bootylicious dance routine for us to perform at the talent show at the end of the week.  He also taught the couples dancing classes where I got to meet even more awesome people!  I met Craig from D.C. who I ended up hanging with a few times during the week and a pair of couples from Fort Lauderdale, Rick (who ended up playing Liza Feminelli) & Rick and Rick (who has been working on the musical Nefertiti) & Peter.  The country crowd really brought a remarkable spirit to the cruise.  People commented on how we made them feel more welcome than any gay group they have ever experienced.  It was also so fun to be able dance, have a big group of acquaintances to sit with for spontaneous meals on the ship and get to know better, and to have strangers come up to me all week long and compliment us on our dancing.  One woman came up to me one afternoon and said she was the president of my fan club!  There was just so much good feeling in the air, and I must commend Troy on his excellent teaching!  He was charismatic and very skillful at breaking down technique to the point that beginning dancers were able to execute intermediate moves quite remarkably!

     One afternoon, I wanted to spend some time working on the song that Peter and I were going to sing for the talent show.  I was out on the pool deck with the music and John H. looked at the score and sung it right there.  I had no idea he had such keen music skills.  On the table next to us were two guys from the Chicago gay men's chours, Matthew and Eric.  They took interest in the music and began chatting with us.  Matthew started taking the Sundance classes as well, and proved to be a quick study as a lead!  Anyway, it was very nice to introduce people to Peter's work and promote it a bit.

      I had my second overwhelming moment on Tuesday afternoon as I stood outside on the observation deck with David Reardon.  The incredible beauty of nature just had to be appreciated and there seemed to be no other person better to share it with than David.  He seemed to have the passion for it that I have seen so rarely in others and he truly allowed me to tap into that.

      Ralph, Ben, and I went to explore Key West for Mardi Gras.  It was neat town, but there really was more fun to be had on the ship so most people did not last all that long over there.

     Wednesday morning at 8:30 was the call for the talent show performers, which probably helped to reduce the number of acts.  Peter and I were going to do a scene from his musical, it was the proposal scene followed by the song "You Are My One".  When the other performers got on stage, I was blown away by their musical talent!  These guys can sing and it was quite intimidating.  It definitely inspired me to really do something about the parts of the song where I seemed to be tentative...

     The trip was non-stop bliss for me, so I had to schedule a meeting with the RSVP entertainment director to discuss the possibility of getting the Barbary Coast Cloggers as entertainment for future cruises.  I still need to send him our publicity materials before having a follow-up logistics meeting, but I would love to be able to do a show for them on the ship!  Steve Yates, Ron, and I should have really done a little number for the talent show, but it did not happen.  Ron & I got to do Bucket to the South informally at one of the dances.

     There were tons of shows on the ship and I think the funnest ones were the interactive shows.  They had a Matchmaker Game in which my friend Gary participated and a Newlywed Game.  Both were absolutely hysterical and I admire the courage of the participants to get on stage to be fodder for a comedian.  There were also a lot of dress up events like the Underwear Party, Daisy Dukes T-Dance, a Mardi Gras Costume party, and the Leather & Lace T-Dance (I must say that my friend Dennis looked awesome in a green harness).  That would just be a whole other suitcase for me.

      I must say that Daniel was an awesome roommate and I was so excited to spend time getting to know him on this trip.  He is a very sweet and generous man, and quite sexy to boot.  He was the talk of the town for all those reasons.  Gary came down one night and the three of us just had a blast.  They were both fun and supportive guys and they encouraged me to try things I never thought I would enjoy which added so much more to the trip.

     On Thursday, I got to go to Mexico for the first time.  My second attempt at kayaking had been cancelled once again and it was too late to try and go to the Mayan ruins.  The day was still quite good.  I had breakfast with Hong & Dave before heading out to the city of Merida with Ralph.  We had a pretty good lunch, but it took as a while to find a decent place that served local food.  On our search, we ran into Ross from Minneapolis who was enjoying a mango sorbet.  He raved about it and had me try a bit and it reminded me so much of home; it was so good!  I had intended to return, but we took our time at lunch and almost missed the bus back to the ship.

     Ralph and I had a pretty good talk about understanding relationships.  He told me that it was important to know what one requires in a relationship and to be able to distinguish them from the needs that are important yet may be filled by others.  There are also the superficial qualities that we may want in a partner that would be pluses though are not at all necessary, such as the ability to cook or dance.  These are things for me to ponder at another time.

     There was one shipboard romance that caught my eye, and I shall leave you nameless.  From the moment they showed up dancing together on the deck, their chemistry shined bright as day and my friend was absolutely glowing.  I saw some professional photos of them for sale on the third level that were so incredibly cute that I just had to buy it for them if they opted not to.  Fortunately, I ran into them within moments and dragged them to the photos.  [Scan it and send me a copy, LOL]  I don't know why they filled me with such joy, but they did.

     My last two dinners were with big groups of Sundance folk and they were quite fun.  On the last evening, there was a whole production with the baked Alaska and the waiters sang a tradional Indonesian song.

     The trip ended with the talent show and what a wonderful way to end.  Sundance did the Bootylicious number, Pasha played the piano and sang Wild as the Wind, and Dave Hayes did two songs from Avenue Q.  I was nervous going up there to do the scene with Peter as I have not sung on such a beautiful stage in a long time (I forgot to mention the ship was gorgeous and immaculate) and the rest of the talent was quite impressive.  The practice seemed to pay off and from what I could hear we sounded fantastic.  We got great feedback, some people thought Peter and I were really a couple, most were amused that I could do something other than dance.  The best compliment came from Casey from Dallas who said he was moved to tears and would love to fly out to SF to see a production of it.  It was fantastic.  I will confess that my friend Pasha was the star of the show as I heard people constantly talking about his performance as much as 24 hours later.

      Bottom line, the cruise was one of the great experiences of my life.  The scenery was gorgeous, the experience was pampering and stress-free, there was so much fun to be had and lots of great people to meet, food and juice to my heart's content, and it would not have been nearly as fun without the Sundance events and folk to keep me engaged.  Whatever you do, do not miss out on an opportunity to go on a cruise and go with an open heart!  Thanks for reading through the whole thing!

     On my first day home and it felt like my apartment was rocking back and forth all day.  Nobody warned me about this side-effect!